Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Michael.

The lumpy couch brings him no comfort. What’s worse, his remote is currently hidden somewhere inside it, tucked between the cushions, or maybe kicked underneath. Michael knows this like he knows he has to unplug the microwave and re-plug it back in before it will work; like he knows a thick hangnail will bleed if you tear it off. It’s a fact—something he doesn’t need to test in order to prove.

He also knows he doesn’t have the motivation to get up and find it. So he’s stuck lounging on the lumpy couch, watching Primetime. Some soppy story about family secrets. Like the world doesn’t have enough problems without listening to the complaints of others.

Michael rolls over to look at the clock. Eleven. Half an hour before he can call Jolene. He scratches his head, deploring at the thinning hair there. Rogaine could take care of it, or so his neighbor tells him, but what’s a bald head, at his age? It’s enough trouble working in cramped cubicle from nine to five, feeding his niece’s cat when she and his brother are out of town, getting up to find the remote.

The seconds tick slowly by, and the Primetime episode shows no sign of getting more interesting. Maybe he could call Jolene early tonight…but no, he can’t break their precious ritual. Their ritual—it’s all he has, really, all he can look forward to.

Jolene is his dream girl. She’s gorgeous, at least in his mind, like the women on teeth whitening commercials. She’s smart and charming and funny, too. If it wasn’t for their evening conversations, Michael wouldn’t have a whole lot to look forward to. Nothing, really.

Finally—finally—it’s eleven-thirty. Michael reaches over and flips the lid of a greasy pizza box up off the phone. He dials the number from memory alone, tapping his fingers impatiently on his thigh. A few more moments, and this day won’t be a waste.

“Hi,” a sensual voice purrs into his ear. “You’ve reached Thirst. What can I do for you?”

“Connect me with Jolene, please,” Michael says, and relaxes against the lumpy couch, a smile on his face.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Michael knows this like he knows he has to unplug the microwave and re-plug it back in before it will work;" that line is worded awkwardly. maybe try saying "Michael knows where the remote is like he knows that the microwave won't work unless you unplug and then replug it.

Jolene. nice name. very creative. haha. but a very pretty name. "Jolene is his dream girl. She’s gorgeous, at least in his mind, like the women on teeth whitening commercials." -nice description. is she based off of a real person? cough cough cough.


this story is a little strange. im not sure if i really get it. is he supposed to be whipped by his girlfriend/wife. and is "thirst" the name of the company jolene works at?

i really dont like the ending so much. it just kinda quickly ends. and there is not much of a plot. unless im totally missing something crucial which could definitely be a possibilty. think back now is the remote symbolic of something?

okay nevermind. i just thought of something good. the remote is symbolic of michael's life. and since the remote is lost maybe thats symbolizing that he has lost touch with his old life. and that the fact that the tv is still on is kinda symbolizing hope that he can turn his life around.

i think this story does have good potential but needs to have a lot more clarification and details.